She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
