3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize