Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
