Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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