Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Text me some of your sweat
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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