Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
