i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
