Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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