I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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