it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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