I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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