whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize