this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
