remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
