life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize