Got a toothbrush?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
