I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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