Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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