I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
