im having a threesome with these popsicles
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
