Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
