While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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