At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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