we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
