My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize