I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
