so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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