He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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