your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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