You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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