It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
