Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
