I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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