Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
