last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize