I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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