3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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