so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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