how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize