i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
