Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
