Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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