Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
