woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
