He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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