after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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