Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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