It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
