hotel room ftw
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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