This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
