There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
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Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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