Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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