K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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