She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
