I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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