what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
