i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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