did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
