The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
