Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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